mizchef

posted by admin on Nov 20

Hi, all. Have you ever noticed that things always seem to happen all at once?  I’ve been out of work all year, since January, and freelance projects have been few and far between. Now, all in the span of 2 weeks, I have this huge freelance project, a request to take a copyediting test, a job interview, and, consequently, several days’ training for a part-time seasonal gig. Add to that two doctors’ appointments, which I made when I had nothing on the radar. And considering that I spent four hours at one doctor’s office earlier this week, you can see how that would put a crimp in my schedule. I’m not complaining—I’m grateful for the work. I just wish everything wouldn’t happen all at once. And I had to skip my blog last week because of it all.

Okay, enough of that.

There’s an episode of Seinfeld wherein Jerry and Elaine have to get on a particular flight. The reservation clerk tells them that there are only two seats available: one in coach and one in first class. Jerry jumps on the first-class ticket. When Elaine asks him why he gets to go first class and she has to go coach, he tells her, “You’ve never flown first class, so you won’t know what you’re missing.” I learned just how true that statement is.

Let me just backtrack one second here. Looking at some flights online, I discovered that for a round-trip flight from Denver to London in first class, British Airways charges—are you ready for this?—$20,000!! Seriously. Go online and check it out. And I thought, “What the hell could they possibly give you to make it worth $20,000?” Nothing could be worth that much. But that got me thinking about my experience flying business class.

Last year, I was working for a group of travel magazines and I went on a press trip to France, sponsored by the French tourism board. I flew Air France, and because I was a journaliste Américaine, they bumped me up from coach to business class, which is just a hair’s difference from first class (more on that later). And, friends, let me tell you, it was like nothing I’ve ever experienced on a flight.

First, the flight attendants come around and offer to take your coat from you (if you have one). They go and hang the coats on some special gold-plated hooks (nah, just kidding). They come around with reading material and a fully stocked bar. You can have a mixed drink, wine, beer, whatever (and we’re not talking cheap stuff here—I had a port that was divine). The roomy, bucket-style seats fully recline and there are pockets in which to store things (books, food items, etc.). In one of the pockets, there was a complimentary travel kit—a purse-like pouch that contained eye shades, ear plugs, a shoe horn, a little container of lotion, and the tiniest little toothbrush and toothpaste I’ve ever seen. Oh, and socks. Yeah, socks. So you can take your shoes off, slip on the socks, and recline. (I guess that’s assuming you don’t have your own socks.)

The comfort my seat and the relative quiet of business class were really helpful to me, particularly on my way back from France. I caught some French cooties while I was there and was quite sick on the flight home (of course the cooties couldn’t wait one more day until I was home in my bed to take me down). I had a fever and was achy and the reclining seat, pillow, and blanket made my flight so much more tolerable than it would have been in coach. That is, if you discount the business man sitting next to me who drank a few scotches, a couple of glasses of red wine with his dinner (which he practically licked off his plate), and proceeded to snore the snore of a drunken sot. He sounded like a wild boar. Other than that, it was great.

And the difference between first and business class? I peeked in on first class and it’s a really nice set-up. The seats are spaced slightly farther apart and probably makes anyone sitting in one feel like their sitting in the captain’s chair on the U.S.S. Enterprise. And each seat has an individual console, where you can perch your drinks and books or whatever. I don’t know if anything else is different, but I was pretty happy in business class.

But now for the important stuff—the food. When it was meal time, the flight attendants came around with white linen cloths to put over our trays. We had menus from which to make our selections. They walked around with baskets of baguettes and, later, fruit.

With our chosen meals, we got:

*Miniature salt and pepper shakers—no little paper packets that contain three grains of each.
*Little bottles of lemon-flavored extra-virgin olive oil for our gourmet salads.
*REAL utensils! No sporks. Real forks, spoons, and knives. I almost fell out of my seat.

Here was the dinner menu on the way to France:

Choice of hors d’oeuvre
*Duck foie gras terrine accompanied by gingerbread and onion marmalade with grapes
*Tomato crumble with goat cheese, Breton seaweed vinaigrette and baby spinach

Choice of Main Courses
*Leg of lamb accompanied by mashed potatoes with green olives and sugar snap peas sauteed in olive oil
*Poached filled of cod with scallion vinaigrette, basmati rice with cinnamon and sauteed vegetables
*The plat du jour: Fillet of duckling, baked, served with caper sauce, accompanied by buttered broccoli and carrot puree

Cheese Platter
Wedges of Camembert, Comté, and Sainte-Maure with crackers

Choice of Dessert
*Pineapple almond cake
*Chocolate cake with mango filling
*Sherbet served with cookies
*Fresh fruit
Espresso at the espresso bar

The Light Meal consisted of Middle Eastern-style chicken brochette, zucchini and carrot salad, tomato and mozzarella brochette, cantal cheese and Poilâne bread.

In addition, they offered a full beverage menu and wine list.

They had me at the white linen.

The dinner menu on the way back was different, involving tournedos of beef and fillet of red snapper in citrus sauce. While none of these main courses really suit my tastes, I got by very nicely on the side dishes and cheeses. My god, the cheeses! They were fresh and delicious, and they would have been a costly course in a restaurant. The food was perfectly prepared—truly restaurant quality—and I wondered where they prepared it all. I half expected that if I peeked in, I’d see Jacques Pépin cooking in the canteen.

So, now that I’d experienced the luxuriousness of business class and partaken of its epicurean pleasures, how would I go back to the cramped, loud, annoying coach cabin and quell my rumbling stomach with cold sandwiches and wilted store-bought salad? Easy. I’m broke and I have no choice. I bring my food from home and, if needed, my own sporks. But even if I had it, I still wouldn’t pay 20 grand for the privilege of first class, no matter what delectable morsels they try and tempt me with.

Have a great, safe, and healthy Thanksgiving everyone!